Pondering change

Today is a day of pondering change and getting things back into perspective. I haven't been blogging much, as you can see, and I think that is to pull myself away from accountability. I have felt quite changed yet uncomfortable. After juice feasting for 14 days, and then continuing to incorporate juice into my (most) daily intake I have seen some good changes: Loss of weight (17 lbs), better hair and skin, better attitude, more happiness, better comcentration. Good things!!! But, what I see I failed to do was get my relationship with "me" in order!! I went back to food and incorporated a lot of raw but also added in a lot of "junk" and processed foods just because I "craved" them and used no self-control. I saw weight gain (5 lbs), skin breakouts, dryer skin and hair, etc...

Well, all that to say this.....I see the change has to come from within and I need to love me for me and who I am on the inside NOT the outside. I feel it is important to bw healthy and eat well and I still want to eat RAW, but there is more to being thin and healthy than just being thin and healthy. It must come from within too.

I am updating my top 10 goals that I set for myself 3 months ago. I am starting a book called "Victory over the darkness" to work on me. My Pastor's wife gave it to me and I really believe it will do a lot to help me see the opression I am allowing over me in this area and free me from this bondage. I am also going to go to prayer and healing school at church which is held once a week. I need support and teaching and need to quit hiding "in the dark" and trying to do it "my way".

I feel bored with doc'ing what I eat/drink but I feel inside I need to do it so I will. I think I will just keep i my own personal journal and then post "things/eating" that seems necessary. :)

I send Much peace and love to all of you who follow this and read this, I appreciate your prayers and support and comments. :)